Monday, August 23, 2004

In the midst of the creeping darkness, with the motion of the fast movin vehicle, and the additional muffled voice on the background, my tears fell gently. It's a relief that it had managed to merged into the lonely night, and went unseen, unnoticed, and disregarded. Yes, even with the aid of the glaring streetlights at each interval, which is increasin ones' vision. Fortunately, it backfires, allowin me to get away. Almost immediately, I wipe the embarrassing tears away, and looked out into the passin HDB blocks, envyin the serenity. After makin sure He was too engrossed in the TPE lanes.

In spite of the efforts of pretendin nothin had happened, deep within, I feel so vulnerable. And i hated it seriously. I disliked the fact that my tears had found their way out so easily each time these situations happened. I dislike the fact that a lady's tears would portray a sign of weakness, a request for protection and pacifcyin. I dislike the fact that it's makin me feel bimbotic, childish and, sad to say, over-reactin. I dislike the "i-would-rather-forget-memories", the whole thing is bringin back. But with all the emotions and mindless thoughts gettin the upper hand, perhaps, I really needa it. Needa some consolin indeed. It's just that I'm too stubborn to swallow my pride and anger within me then to even ask then.

However, I'm glad for the reassurin touch on my hand, and the tender whisper in my ear back then. Well, I have to admit, the touch of the hand made me go wobble at the knee. Ok, ALMOST. I dun deny, it was like "the right thing, at a right time, and bringin a right effect". Indeed, there's guess no words would be able to express my guilt and gratitude then. But as i looked over, to the man next to me, I smile. In my heart.

beautiful memories on. 10:53:00 pm x ........................................