Wednesday, October 06, 2004

It's been a while, my friends. Noticed that till recently, i haven been blogging at a daily basis for the past few months. The interval within each blog entry would be at a minimunm of 2days, sometimes even more.. The thing is, I usually blog when i've something that's worth recording down, like bloggin when there's some inspirations, instead of mundane stuffs. Why? Hmmm, i cant really pinpoint though.

For the past few days, things hadnt been really peaceful for me. Firstly, Baby went in, for transformation, on the 1st of Oct, without me sendin him off expectedly. Reason? I couldnt wake up in time. He called me at 9am, which is the time i was supposed to meet him at Pasir ris interchange, to realised tat his lazy sweetie pie was still in the bed. So much for talkin about sendin him all the way to Tekong, when i cant even make it to Pasir Ris. On the same day, i din turn up for SIP, without an MC, explainations, nothin. I just thought that since it's the last day of SIP, there's no need for all these unnecessarities. Let's say this again with the school reopen. Next, things hadnt been goin well in the family. Wat things, wat happened should be left unsaid, as it would be too personal. All i can say is, this time, i'm more determined than before.

I was walkin along the streets of Orchard alone on the Monday and Tuesday, as my friends hadnt got the time to accompany me for an interview on these consecutive days. The more i roam, the more relaxed i feel. I mean, isit it relaxing to stroll peacefully, alone, at your own pace, along a always busy street? Whereby, the workin blue-collar were buryin in their work, the poor students struggling with their exams, and the primary school no-more-exams kids are too young to be out on their own. The traffic hadnt been that smooth, the streets hadnt been that remote, and the crowds hadnt been that mimial. Before. With a cigarette in my hand, i strolled down the walkway, from Paragon to the bustop opposite the old OG, admiring the serenity. And secretly hopin the holidays for the strugglin students will not come by. That fast. For this scenic view would be gone by the end of this week. When the students are "released-and-comes-out-to-play". Yes, it's abit crazy, fancy walkin along the streets of Orchard, alone, and enjoyin it. Indeed, i enjoy wild company, i dread being alone, but at times like this, i'm more than happy that my friends cant make it. Not that i dun wana them, i appreciate if they could come, but the view is so much more breath-takin, when 100% of the attention is engrossed into it.

I called Dear yesterday, thks to the "free-incomin" that he subsript from M1, immediately after he smsed me. The sms seems to be a silent way of givin the green light for me to call. Upon hearin his voice, tellin him what had really happened for the past few days, i broke down. With the sea breeze blowin into my face, dryin the tears almost instantly. I was at Coasta Sands Resort, East Coast at that moment, in case u are wonderin. After 6days without him, all i wana now is to run into his arms again. As much as i know i should have the "be-positive-dun-let-him-worry-about-me-yet-i-worry-about-him" behaviour, as much as i know i needa stand strong, as much as i know i was not supposed to be cryin, as much as i know wat i needa know, but realistically, i cant survive on my own, and i truly know it too. For the past few days, i've only been strugglin with my emotions, holdin my tears back, not breakin down. But with his gentle voice, the moment, i know i cant take it anymore, i had to let all these out. The burden is too much for me to bare, alone. I mean, Really, alone. It's just a hidden fact tat things would be much much better if he's here. IF. 10 more days.

Well, as the above mentioned, it's my class, the e068, chalet at Coasta Sands, East Coast. I shouldnt say the chalet is fun, but it's the accompanice that counts. People changes, Things changes, and Class changes. As much as we loathe it, Changes are inevitable. The difference is only, for the better or worse. After a long time with Yanping, regarding our process, the SIPs, lookin back at the year1 us, and how we got spilt up as a group. And with the sea breeze blowin through out silky hair, and the darkness around us, our girly emotions are intense. Oh, yes, it's the same place where i've bared out my tears. Heh. I'm truly glad i've changed. Into a better person. I'm thankful for the argument we had, for it's tat which woke me up. Maybe we are not really good friends, or maybe not for times to come. I'm already delighted that at least we do not ignore each other, at least we are more than acquaintances. Whatever it is, i love the class. I love you girls, the individual 6 of u, excludin me. I love you e068s.

Good news for u guys, i've found a job. Heh.

beautiful memories on. 5:16:00 pm x ........................................