Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Juz as, i've decided to stop complainin endlessly abt the work workin almost 2 hours of OT everyday, juz as i've consolin that OT means more money comin in to my pocket, juz as i'm startin not to hate the stayin back after 6pm, juz as i'm convinced of how i can IMPRESS my boss that "i'm-all-ready-to-commit-not-mind-long-after-offices-hours". I realised, there isnt anymore OT, startin from this work. How funny. Even though, i'm more then willin to stay-back-to-share-the-freezin-aircon-so-they-would-not-feel-tat-cold, they seems even more willin to chase me away. Cause, there are absolutely nothin to be done. So much for bein efficient. Wellz, technically, i should rejoice, given on the previous post of how much i detest OTing. But come think of it, i have no programmes after work too. All i wana do, is take-the-stupid-147-back-home-and-just-collapse. Hmmmm maybe, one way would helps. I should stop being too competent.

Comin back. I realised the previous posts, includin this, are all work-related. Congrats! This place is becomin borin. [Facts proven. Based on the number of posts in Tagboard, and Haloscan. Or perhaps all my readers like to be Anonymous? Hmmmm] Never mind. "Thisshouldbeahappypage. Andishouldbeahappygirl. Causewearelivininahappyworld. Sopeaceoutandbehappyeveryday." Ya right, So much for a happy world. Slap me please. Why all i see on news are missin kids, kidnapped tourists, and murdered and dumped dead bodies, Frauds in leadin countries, polities conflicts, bombin in Thailand, people livin in fear, Singaporeans blamin the goverment, as if they are not responsible for their own life.

Sometimes, i cant stand the Singaporeans "Kaisu", and "Kaisi" UNIQUENESS, if u wana call it. Isnt it irony? We, sit down, relax, dun care, push everythin to the goverment, yet, when the time comes, blame the goverment for not doin the job. Isnt it irony? Wowen wearin HEAVY GOLD jewellry, yet, arguin in front of passers-by for a 1/2kg FREE ice-cream cake. Isnt it irony? We complain and asked wat the goverment is doin for us, yet we did nothin in return. Isn't it irony? Every year, tixs to the NDP get snapped up within few days, yet more than 5000tixs are left unclaimed with the time comes. Isnt it irony? One guy would lay in the middle of a busy road, yet only near to 20mins later, someone actually stood out to offer help. Isnt it irony? A person who could afford to drive a Lexus S300, yet complained, $4 fried rice is way tooooo expensive. Isnt it irony? We argued about gender equality, yet debated about why girls shouldnt serve the nation. Isnt it irony? Despite all the couresty campanige, yet, people cant get into the habit of swtichin their hps in the movies. And the worst thing is, people dun realised tat, makin those irriatin noises at the owner of the unsilent phone, is more irriatin themselves. Confused? Me too.

So i sounds like a saint? From the bottom of my heart, i wished i'm. Coz, I laughed out loud while watchin Passion of Christ, when the whole cinema were pourin their tears out. I Refused to share seats with Blangala, even though they are payin the same price as me, or maybe more. Ok, i cheated bus fare. 80cents to bring me all the way from orchard to hougang. I sneak into MRTS at times, coz takin train to work everyday is practically, too expensive. I pollute others by puffin away, coz i dun wana to be the one to be polluted. I walked away immediately after lunch at BreadBroad, coz i know there'll those Aunties to clear up my plates. I littered, coz the ground is the nearest rubbish bins. I love 2004's National Day, not because i'm a patriot, but the BK Whopper Meal is at it's all time lowest at ONLY $3.90.

Enough. I'm ashamed of myself too. Anyway, It's been rainin for the past few days. I wonder how is He. 7 long wet day of field camp aint fun. In additions to the Yucky food, Muddy Ground, Strenuous Trainnin, now there are Unpredictable Rains, Intense Sun-Tannin. How great. I hope he brought enough biscuits to last, to replenish of the Green Sticky Gluey Rice. Maybe, after 7days, the big bulge in front of him would be gone. I believe, hard work would pays. Army would changes people, with the help of trainnin of course. From a Boy to a Man. From a Skinny-or-Fats-Bulgin Guy to a Manhunt Material. Why not, just send all the obese people to Army, Tekong most prefarably. They can save on the slimmin session, and the Liposuction too. Healthy, costly, and they pay you to slim down too. Ok, as i was sayin, so far, i do feel, it had changed him. Not physically. But mentally. It's like a stress generatin machine. Sometimes, i dread his bookout day. Because, i duno wat can i do, to make him feel better after a week of tedious trainin. Tat's y i would choose to rather avoid it, than to face it openly sometimes. Literally, others would say: "Just be right there with him" or watsoever. As if things would be so simple. As if there's no conversation involved within. As much as part of me wanted Saturday to arrive faster, part of me wana the weekdays to go by slower.

2weeks without Him by me, 4days with total no calls, no sms. Torturin? Hmmm, not really. I asked myself, can i get along well like this? Indeed, this past weekends are indeed fun. I know i wouldnt be able to do it if he's around. Wellz, I have all the time in the world to myself. Devils, Zouk, Halloween Party, Malaysia, Late nights out. No worries, no obligations, total fun, total madness. [Of course i have my limits too.] But is fun really wat i wana? At this point of life? Wellz, i really duno. But, one thing i'm sure of, tat i've not experience enough YET.

beautiful memories on. 10:33:00 pm x ........................................