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I've got so much emotions to say today, so much tat i was wonderin to type it all here, or juz write in my diary. But in the end, I'm lazy to write. That explains this entry. Maybe somewat personal i guess. It all started when Weijie and I was talkin abt our problems in the school library, for like 2 whole hours, NON-STOP! Oh nono, dun get me wrong, it's Weijie tat's the problematic one, my life is doin all well. It's great, with all I ever could have. I've dotin parents (excluding the occasional arguments), an enjoyable family, a bunch of wonderful friends, a carin bud, and a great bf. I'm sooo blessed that I've fallen deep down into my own comfort zone of life, and stubbornly refused the changes that had came into my path every now and then. When my cg leader decided to gimme me more responsibilities, I simply backed out. When I was given a choice for futher education overseas, I refused. When I was given a chance to earn more allowance, I declined. When Dar wanted to take the relationship into a higher level, I freeze. And the reason behind all these rejections? I'm juz afraid. Afraid to even give everythin a try. Life's short, you may say. But I'm too stagnant for changes. I'm not determined enough to accept the new modifications into my life. Maybe I'm too pessimistic to see silver linings behind every dark clouds, tat's y I avoided to even have a chance for the dark clouds to develop in the 1st place. It goes the same for the job, the education, the relationship, and even the walk with God. Therefore in the end, I chose, to give up everythin that requires changes. Excludin the relationship so far. Sometimes, yes, I do wonder, had I missed any golden opportunities while I had chose the latter, but.... well, not sure. Nevertheless, Life is full of uncertainties isn't it? Anyway, Weijie said I'm selfish, while I had became so satisfied with my own life, I'd failed to place others' feelings into consideration. Well, I agreed, sometimes, I heard only my own voice, so much tat I became too self-centered for my own good. I dun wana to take things to a higher level, as it seems perfectly fine now. Futhurmore, when commitments comes into the picture, changes are to be made, which i detest to change! He quoted that Sacrificing is a part of Love, If you dun even know how to sacrifice, you dun even know Love. He even suggests that I should take an initial step to discard and sacrifice my comfort zone, to go ahead and give it a try. Question! Am I in love YET???!!! Wellz, I really duno. It's too early to clearly verify anything right now. It may be Love, Infatuation, or juz a simple Likin. Notice all these 3 started out with a common thing? The attraction for each other. The Feel. To me, an infatuation is a moment of strong passion towards each other, but usually short-lived. Likes are juz some feelings of simple affection. However, Love.... is Undefined. 1st Cor 13: 3-8 [Bible explains Love.]
I missed the old times.I missed our SCHOOLDAYS. I missed the CAREFREE holidays.I missed BUMMIN AROUND with you.I missed the FUN we had in Hongkong.I missed the days we could chat tirelessly.I missed our all-time fav CHICKEN RICE store.I missed the days we are in NO HURRY TO go home.I missed our LATE NIGHTs meet-ups, at the void decks.I missed our bitchin at Cartel, with the FreeFlow of BREADs!I missed the MovieDates we had, at Bishan GV, in SHORTS!I missed the days we went on & on, without knowin it's gettin late.I missed the period where we had NO JOBS, and we are so BROKE!I missed the time, where we would meet for lunch almost EVERYDAY.I missed ALL the laughter, gossips, stories, silly jokes, we share each time. But most importantly, I MISS YOU, my dears![pls quit your jobs, i dun wana be the ONLY slacker...]
Fuck, I've typed an entire post, and juz before I publish it, I accidentally deleted the whole thing, with the act of "only-pressin-a-backspace-button". Now, I needa retype, and it may not be the 100% post previously, but i'll try. BTW, I've short memory span.
I had strike off the entire post written on Monday, cause I think it's really rude of me to type all these stuffs. I mean, who am I to comment if it's a typical blog. Who am I to judge seriously? I've no rights to interfere. It's their blog, their life, their way. It's simply my side of story. Perhaps I'm too self-centered tat I failed to place other feelings into consideration. I was readin some of my friends' blog, and I nearly cried. My "typin-without-goin-through-my-brains" entry is affectin them. I'm sincerely sorry, my dears. Dun read too much into the entry, it's not evenly important. Case closed. Entry stroke off. Pls ignore, will you?
Anyway, i din report for SIP today. And the reason: I fuckinly overslpt. Woke up at 830am today, but decide to forgo school, in order to replenish my slp. How great is tat huh? Heard tat the LO is extremely pissed off. Well, juz see wat he'll say tml. But at least i did do wat i needa to complete.
It was sweet for Dar to come all the way from Simei to Hougang yesterday. It was sweet that he even thought of me, when he needa some accompanice. It was sweet to pick me up to airport for Delifrance. But my senseless remarks spoils it. Sometimes, i think i'm a peabrain.
Her: "Why u needa come all the way, when u've friends in Tamp, to go supper with u."
Him: "Cause i wanted to see you."
Awwwww... I should start appreciatin
I feel like an idiot now. It's time to reflect on myself.
Seriously, I do wonder if anyone reads my blog. Well, if you do, pls leave me a message. Gimme me some consolation prize, will you? At times, I start to wonder what's the main purpose of bloggin? To let the whole world know wat you've been up to? To brag to the people know wat you've bought recently? To inform the rest of where you gone on this certain day? It's seems bimbotic isn't it? [NO OFFENCE.] Well, and of coz, ME included.
here.
On the other hand, I still think a blog is good, for the fact that I'm lazy to write in my diary. Ok, in case you dun know, which i think most people doesn't, i do have a diary, and i still update it (but not as often), only for those things which are too personal to be
The best blog entry, which i feel, would be one, when you are writin how you really feel. Like this blog, which i stumbled across it while browsin through my friend's link. I like the way the owner expressed herself, each entry of her blog does successfully contains her thoughts [ in my own opinions]. I've been faithfully readin her blog every now and then. No, dun mistake me for some physco stalker, i just find her blog is, ermz, unlike the typical ones. It's really enjoyable to read something not so "typical". It's at wordy and lengthy at the 1st look, but the content would juz keep me goin. I realised 90% of the blogs would go: "I went on a shoppin trip today, and i bought this this this this this..",[and followed by the pics of their "harvest"]. Or "I juz cut my hair, blah blah blah..."[and followed by pics of the new hairstyle]. Gee, I did that too, i admit. But wat are we tryin to prove?
Guess, i'm offendin half the world out there. Better stop it now, before someone actually sent me some hate mails[it's not as if they know my e-mail add], or spam my tagboard. I dun wana make things worse, so i think i'll just STFU NOW! Anyway, I apologize if this blog entry had pissed you off, you can leave a message too, but i can't guarantee it would be entertained.
I found something from Valencia's blog, which i feel it's really nice, so i decided to STEAL it, for u guys to read!! So, Here it goes:
I'm Sick. But i've no time to see "my Doc". On the other hand, i guess "my Doc" has too many patients, which leaves him too busy for me too. I assumed i would recover since the last visit on Monday, but the bug came back again! Moreover, the antibotics & medicines he gave on the last visit are not enough to last. Well well, guess i either tolerate the sickness, or book my appointment with "my Doc" real soon... Hmmmm...
Went Malaysia in the afternoon with Dar [again!, for the fact, i juz went on sunday for a shoppin trip with my cousin] to stock up our cigarettes supply mainly, and to change the spoilt DVD. After which, we roam around to shop for goccery to stock up his place. And guess wat, we bought like RM80 and $25 of food supply! And mind you, it's JUNK food, which mostly contains of Tidbits, Soft drinks, Frozen Pizzas, Ice-Cream. I'm becomin a "Junkie Porkchop"! [Porkchop sounds rather C-u-t-e though.]
Anyway, I was tellin Dar abt Flings, Relationships, and Affairs today. So wat's the difference between these 3 things? To me, Flings are juz like relationship, except there's no commitment. It's more to a easy-come-easy-go basis, perhaps like a one-night-stand, but it's a prolonged period of it though. But for Relationship-wise, it's much more time-consumin, and commitment-based. Indeed, it would take time to build up a Relationship. And i would argee that it's not really EASY. But is everyone, or most people, gonna go through the tough road of buildin a Relationship, or would they rather juz choose to stick with their "Single Lifestyle", and settle on a Fling instead? Guess each of the individual is different, But one things is for sure, I guess, All girls needa a Guy in their life, and the vice versa.
To Hell with my LOVE Philsophy. What's the shit about all these Stuffs? If Love can be defined, things would be much easier isn't it?
But at least i've Realised:
