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Seriously, i duno wat have i been up to these few days. Except the fact that i have gotten myself into some intense shits. Glad that most of it had been solved. Not totally, but at least things are workin out. It was really my fault this time. Guess I seriously needa to cultivate a habit of informin, improve the way of cancellin things the very last min, and changed the way i took the HP SMS for granted. A cherished friendship was nearly jeopardized this time. Thank God it's NEARLY.
Frankly, I never liked the idea of replyin a sms. UNLESS i was really bored. Indeed, i never liked the idea of communication through SMS. It's more to a hassle then convienent, as they had claimed, to me. Pickin up the damn phone, and pressin the the GREEN DIAL button is more ideal. Tat explains why sms to me never get a reply almost 65% of the time. The 35% is unless it's really important, or i'm REALLY free then. Otherwise, i would just cast it aside after readin it, and soon, it would be cast out of my mind too. Ok, i'll try to improve. But i cant promise. Heh.
Well, I kina missed my shoulder-length-silk-flowin-wind-blowin-straight-shapeless-forever-not-messy hair. Yes, I've got sick of my perm hair. No, sick is not the word to use now. I kina hated it now. Tyin it up will only invite more attention on my chubby-rounded face. Lettin it down makes me look more like an obasan. I'm vain. And i dun like the negeative effect the "big-curls" perm is bringin me. I dun like the extra 15mins i needa to spent in stylin my hair each time i leave for school. Hello! I dun even have enough time for my sleep, what makes u think i can jolly spare 15mins for my hair each mornin? And mind you, it's only just the hair. I emphasized again. THE DAMN HAIR ONLY. I wana my natural-straight-silky hair back. FAST.
In the midst of the creeping darkness, with the motion of the fast movin vehicle, and the additional muffled voice on the background, my tears fell gently. It's a relief that it had managed to merged into the lonely night, and went unseen, unnoticed, and disregarded. Yes, even with the aid of the glaring streetlights at each interval, which is increasin ones' vision. Fortunately, it backfires, allowin me to get away. Almost immediately, I wipe the embarrassing tears away, and looked out into the passin HDB blocks, envyin the serenity. After makin sure He was too engrossed in the TPE lanes.
In spite of the efforts of pretendin nothin had happened, deep within, I feel so vulnerable. And i hated it seriously. I disliked the fact that my tears had found their way out so easily each time these situations happened. I dislike the fact that a lady's tears would portray a sign of weakness, a request for protection and pacifcyin. I dislike the fact that it's makin me feel bimbotic, childish and, sad to say, over-reactin. I dislike the "i-would-rather-forget-memories", the whole thing is bringin back. But with all the emotions and mindless thoughts gettin the upper hand, perhaps, I really needa it. Needa some consolin indeed. It's just that I'm too stubborn to swallow my pride and anger within me then to even ask then.
However, I'm glad for the reassurin touch on my hand, and the tender whisper in my ear back then. Well, I have to admit, the touch of the hand made me go wobble at the knee. Ok, ALMOST. I dun deny, it was like "the right thing, at a right time, and bringin a right effect". Indeed, there's guess no words would be able to express my guilt and gratitude then. But as i looked over, to the man next to me, I smile. In my heart.
The answer: "Because Fred is a Goldfish."Hey, Not my idea this time! It was in the Book!
There's so much amendments to be made for the SIP. All these weeks, we realised we had been goin in a wrong direction. An undetailed, an uncommerable, unimpressive project. The good thing is, we had our "on-leave" Supervisor back to guide us along. After much decisions, we decided to start everythin over again, from very beginnin, the design of questionnaire. The previous stuffs are thrown into the rubbish chute, to our much despair, but seriously, we do not have a choice. If we wana ensure the good grades.
Btw, i've got this from a "The Ultimate Mental Challenge" book. Try to solve it my friends. Haaaa!!!
Fred was often inquisitive about the world outside. Each day, he gazed wistfully through the glass at a world he could never know. Then, one day, the unthinkable happened. Some boys playing outside accidentally broke the glass. Instantly, Fred regretted his decision. Why?
4am. Still here. Afraid of slp. The reason: Not riskin to be late for SIP. Facin Carina for explanation is a terror. Esp when she rems me, and my name. Fears overcome me each time I walked into the clockin-in room. I would spent like 10seconds at the door, checkin my attire. Since the last time she told me this: "Another hipsters/short skirts/non-covered shoes from you, a warnin letter will be yours.", I decided not to test the system ANYMORE. Stop wearin slippers and hope that i could sneak away without any notice. I threw all my skirts aside, and wear jeans 5days a week. Dun get me wrong, i dun jolly well like wearing ultra mini skirts. The thing is, our definition of SHORT differs. But since the command is given, I have no say. Even if I were to look like some Mainland girls in Engineerin Block, I cant be bothered, I juz dun wana risk any longer. All I wana now is a clean sheet of record.
"I think you're gettin fat. Consider goin to the gym with me." Point taken. And Agreed. It's time to get the butt off the chair and start the exercise... IF i kill the laziness in me 1st...
Well, the weekends had been great. Shall not elaborate on it. Pure enjoyment is the description. 3days straight is enough for me to realise how blessed my life is. Not tat i din notice it before, but now i'm appreciatin it more den ever. With such wonderful ppl around me; Family; Friends; Bf. Wat more can i have? Hmmm.... i dun mind more cash. Heh.
Wat craps. I'm defined to havin a Dysthymic Disorder. According to wat it says, i'm havin a life-time depression, and i dun Communicate with others. Ok, this i argeed. In the communication part. I'm not an extreme extrovert. I like keepin within my own group of people at times. That explains why most pple cast me as "dao". Well, sometimes i dun see the need to be friendly, when i dun even know you in the 1st place. Ok, call me a BITCH if you wana. For the rest on the negative thinkin or watever, hmmm.. So far, i'm fine with wat i have. So where does all these thinkin about? Not that i've any in the first place. Oh wait. Do you call insercurities in life negative thinkin, guilt and watsoever? To hell with this quiz, makin me more confused only. I seriously wonder why these strange quizes come abt, do they really help in some ways? Hmmm, anyway, to summarize, accordin to it, I'm not wat i may seems, i'm FRAGILE, do handle me with CARE, or i'll S-N-A-P, and have a serious breakdown. You guys wouldn't wana it, dun you? Heh.
We had nothin better to do, therefore, tat explains where this quiz arrives. Did it within Weijie and myself. His results are worse, he has MAJOR DEPRESSION! Freak! I'm in the same group as him for SIP, Gods knows wat he'll do to us! Haaa, Kiddin only la boy. Well, we are all stuck here in the SIP lab, with our eyes closing. Still awaitin for Mr Teo S.C to give us further instruction, since our "Always-not-around-SIP-supervisor" is unavailable. God knows where the hell he is, and wat he's been doin. It's been nearly a week, and practically, we are not given any new assignments to do YET. Sometimes, it's not tat we choose to slack, it's we are FORCED to slack. However, Dun envious us. We are bored. To death. Can't help but feeling tat most of the jobs are being pushed back. So wat does this means? It means, there's lots of last minute shits to be done, which i HATED last min work. Who wans to be rushin all the way, burnin midnight oils, givin up precious slps, juz to ensure ur assignments would be due on time. Not me certainly. Ok, maybe i'm cynical abt this SIP project, but who doesnt wana the best for the group? Who doesnt wana score well when given a chance? Who doesnt wana grad with a complete cert. Certainly, i dun wana be laid back, and be signin on for some long-service-award shits. Whatever...
Got this. Like this part of the song esp. From the lastest ablum of The Corrs, Borrowed Heaven. Sweet lyrics. Completed with catchin tunes. Recommended. by. cyn.
Summer Sunshine by The Corrs
In the heat of summer sunshine
I miss you like nobody else
In the heat of summer sunshine
I kiss you, and nobody needs to know
Phew, gone are the weekends, arrvin is the dreadful SIP. Juz can't belive the 3-days-break was gone like tat. In an tinklin of the eye. But wat can i say, I've enjoyed myself tremedously. Time indeed flies when one is havin fun. Anyway, not gonna blog abt wat had happened in the 3 days. It would be an essay of i did. Furthurmore, i'm PLAIN lazy to type the details. Therefore i sum it all up in a pharse. A real short and simple one though. The weekends are fun. Cause You were around. Plus I had my shoppin done. Silly darling. Bad with flash.
It's difficult to resist what my heart is telling me to do. It's even more difficult to control my own feelings. But somehow, i know needa face the reality. I can't bear to let go. I can't walk away silently. But in the end, i did. I had to. I can't continue standin there holdin forever, it's obstructin other people as well. As i walk away, i have this silly urge of rushin back to grab the latter. Well, i didn't, as i know our ends doesn't meet. Somehow, now i'm longin for the moment. The moment we could be back together again.......
ME & THE COACH SLING BAG!!
It was a real taxing day today in school. We had so much stuffs to be completed in a day. For once, after 6 weeks of SIP, i can feel the tension of this stupid thingy. Firstly, got the 30 surveys done from Business students, Compiled the data in Microsoft Access, Did the chart in Microsoft Excel, Do a report for the 15charts, finally analysize and compare the chart with BZE surveys. All done in a day. Ok, i'm a BIG FAT LIAR. The report and the analysis had not been done yet, WHICH i intended to do it later. Or maybe TML? Anyway, I was over head over heels with this song by Eminem. Yaya, it's was not totally a new song. But i dun care, i'm loving it. It was on my head all night long yesterday, after i accidentally heard it over the radio. It's so damn catchy, it got me groovin to it. Wooohooo! I even had the intention of havin the song as my background music, but the sad thing is... I've forgotten wat should i do, in order to be able to hear the song each time i access to my blog! Teach me pls someone~ How come by Eminem
Wat the hell, I did blogged in the lab today, now where did my entry gone to? Watever! Shall continue on where I've ended, and edit wat I've posted.
How come we dont even talk no more
And you dont even call no more
We dont barely keep in touch at all
And I dont even feel the same love when we hug no more
And I heard it through the grape vine we even beefin now
After all the years we been down
Aint no way no how, this bullshit can be true
We family and aint a damn thing changed, unless it's you
Time check: 11:34am. (Half an hour to Lunch)
Anyway, i juz realised that Heartland Mall had juz been revamp. Ok, maybe not JUZ. Perhaps it's been one month already? I haven been to the place for like 6months, cause it's so friggingly out of the way, although i live in Hougang too. The only Neighbourhood shoppin centre i've frequent are, Tampines Mall, and Century Square i guess. The reason, it's so near the school, no extra effort of travellin needa to be done. I think i should juz admit tat i'm plain LAZY. Nevertheless, the new Heartland Mall is so alike to Far East. More and more shops of such concepts are comin up in neighbourhood areas huh, wellz, at least to me. Miniature Far East in Bishan, Tiong Bahru, and now, Hougang. Anyway, the clothes there are so dirt cheap. I've got 2 tubes and a Halter for only $50.10! Where on earth can you get such deals? Excluding This Fashion, of course. And, the material is not at least those type of lyrca, or some sheer cheopo material. Instead, It's cotton! How, frigginly cool is tat ar. Btw, seriously, i think there's a miscalculation somewhere, 2 tubes at $19.90 each, the halterneck at $24, minus the 10% she claims she would be givin me, adds up to $50.10? Opps! Hehehe, i'm becoming to sound more and more like a obasan.
Mood: "Yawns"
Guess where am i now? IN THE SIP LAB. Well, no big deal you may think, guess u duno know us well enough. Normally, after 10am, our group would sneak off to the library for some DVDs marathon. But this time, after 6 weeks of SIP, we finally made it here, till NOW, SO FAR! Furthermore, this is the 1st time i'm bloggin in the SIP lab. The reason? Cause i have nothin better to do. Wellz, The Smarty me had completed my assigned task, while the rest of my groupmates are still struggling with theirs. Tat explains why am i the slacking one, while the rest are workin their arse off. Haha!
I was kina disappointed yesterday. Wana tok to Dar so much, as i've absolutely no mood to type the report and the analysis for the graphs. But in the end, i did neither. Din have the chance to talk to him. Our fate for last night juz dun meet. It's either i'm too tired, or he's not free. Wellz, anyway, there'll be more times to come, i supposed?
Ok, regardin the previous post, I admit I'm juz findin a place to bang all my frustrations, I dun wana go on shoutin like a crazy girl, tat would makes things worse. So I guess, the keyboard would be the perfect tool for it. Wellz, anyway, how many times we wished we could actually control our emotions and not let it get the better of us? No, shoudn't use WE in this case, it's me. There are times when I compared and observed how my brother and I reacted to my mum's endlessly srceehing and sadly to say, it's a huge difference most of the time. Shamelessly, I had to admit, Bro had a better way of gettin himself out of it. How? Remaining silent, to allow my mom go on and on, regardless she's in the right or wrong. However, on the other hand, I did the exact opposite, which den explain why am I gettin more into more problems, and naggin in return. But, anyway, Girls will always be girls. Most of the time, we allows our emotions to rule over us. It defines us, and separates us from the guys. This is our characteristics I suppose, which makes us more vulnerable. Which things goes wrong, or we got maligned or watever, there's this strong urge in us to pour all the feelings out, otherwise, we'll go crazy. Ok, BE fair. The followin explains to me mostly. Speakin of girls and boys, let you know a little secret. Called it sex discrimination or watever, but till now, I still prefer having sons instead of daughters. Why? The reason is real simple, boys are a real fun deal, they go gaga over practically everythin. The other reason is, seriously, I dun think it's fun dressin up my little ones like a princess. I rather my kids runnin around, and behavin like a normal child, den to sit around waitin for to be served. Anyway, although I do prefer boys to girls, irony, I hadn't thought of wat names should I give my sons, when I've decided on the names of my daughters. They shall be called Myrchelle, pronouned as Michelle & Jhole, pronouned as Joey. Btw, I think it's freakin cool, to have teachers who can't spell ur names, tat explains their weird spellings! HAHAHA!
Oh God, I feel so damn unappreciative. Sometimes I can't stand her endless screening. Sometimes I hate it when it's my fault all the time. Can't she understand our ideology instead of just raising her voice over to us? It's not "THE ONE WITH LOUDEST VOICE WILL HAVE THE LAST SAY", y doesnt she get it? I kina missed the last two Sundays when she's not around, it has been peaceful, and more relaxin. Who likes arguments anyway!? No, it's not tat i dun wana her around with us, Oh well, nvrm, DARN. Rambling right here doesn't solve any problems.
