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After a "intelligential" conversation i had with my Baby, I realised, indeed, too much blog writing would leads to self-pity, or even much worse, havin a serious need for attention. Reason? Simple. As it's our own blog, we tend to focus more on our emotions, thus summarzin the whole incident, into one which has-us-as-the-main-lead. As a consequence, our readers would only be aware of one side of the story, which in this case, is ours of course. But however, throughout the process of readin the blog entry, readers have already turn on their emotional feel, and thus, without knowin the real story, our ardent readers would tend to take sides, as sympathy would take place for the reader. And condemation of the other party was be done.
Honestly, I've been there, and done that. Sadly to sad, i'm not at least proud of it. Instead, i felt that i could have done it better. As i read into my past blog entries, i was ashamed. Downright. I cant help but realised how inmature i was in the relationship. Instead of protecting the rights of Kelvin, the then boyfriend, i went on rambling and rambling on how MISERABLE and DISAPPOINTED i was in the whole relationship. And, yupz, i got sympathy. Friends, at that point of time, were calling up, checkin to see if i'm fine. After, a particular blog entry about how Kelvin was pityin me. Now, when i looked back, i apprehend that i WAS the one who's pityin myself.
Wellz, so what the point here? Juz that.... a blog is to write watever we feel, we want, and we like. But as we are composin our story, we needa to be reminded tat the whole world is evolvin around other people too, at the same time. Sometimes, i needa to remind this to myself too. Lastly, the morale of the story is..............
People with Narrow minds, gossip about People,
People with Intermediate minds, discuss about Events,
People with Broad minds, analysize about Ideas.
So which category do you fall into?
Here i am again, It's been a few days. And now, I'm back in a piece. With my ugly curly hair, and my big fat butt. Still. Anyway, it's not like something bad had happened to me. Just that, i'm suffering from pre-bloggin illness. I've logged in a couple of times, and left, without typin anythin. Cause i've got nothin to type...
So here i am again. The past few days have been busy, busy and BUSY. With wat? Hmmm.... Spendin time with my baby at Clearwater. Slackin. Goin Swimmin. Bakin in the sun. And suffering in a hot-air-not-ventilation-room called suana. Ok, and not forgettin, clockin in for school too. Startin this week
Nevertheless, the holiday mood is here, the relax mode is still on. The group arent doing anythin after we came back from the completion of the survey forms in different polys. All we did in school was, eatin breakfast, and back here, watchin DVD on my laptop, and it's free time. That's when i would sneak out, Weijie would on his sleep mode, and Huijun, engrossed in the facilities the library is providing. It's ok guys, gimme another one week, And the real holidays is here. We can kiss goodbye to the stupid clockin system, and say "Hello" to mid-noon sleeps. Endure people.
And no offence to ALL the starhubbers out there, I FUCKINGLY hate starhub. To hell with their free incoming calls. Oh no, I SHOULD say, TO HELL WITH THE CHEAPO STARHUBBERS. What the christ is with, call-ring-once-and-hang-up, so they would have a missed call and call back, so the freakin starhubbers need not pay. I hate this. I fuckingly hated it. And i'm proud to say, I Dun call back in this case. "You wana talk to me, PAY MONEY." And it's not tat i'm not payin for the phonecall you've made too. I'm with M1. These people better wake up their stupid ideas. It's like puttin ur cheaponess on other expenses. Arent you ashamed of it? Or you are just tryin hard to show that you are a Patriot, with all the Singapore kiasuism in your blood.
Hold on, Hold on, Hold on.
*If there's this need*
Ya, But how long?
I duno why. Maybe i know. I'm losin all the confidence in myself. I needa a MakeOver. I needa a change. I juz feel sooo inferior. Sometimes, I think that i'm not good enough.
And this is so not me. I must breakaway. And stop being "this bimbo" now.
There's so much things around across my mind now. Bits of wat happened are flashin back. But at 4am in the mornin, all i really wana is a good nite slp.
End of story. Pls dun ask me why and what. And dun prode me to go on.
I found somethin on friendster which i thought is interestin. Here it goes:
For a min, I was completely swept off my feet by his touchin answer. The feeling was like "ohhh-it's-so-romantic-that-i-would-die-in-his-arms". That's only if whoever he is, was here.Okay, maybe i'm too exgarrating. Excluding heardin this in Disney's fairytale story only, arent these lines some sort of a script for a romantic and yet so predictable movies? Along with a you-love-me-i-love-you-together-we-can-be endin? As i snapped back to the reality, to this cruel world, i realised expecting this answer from guys is NEARLY impossible. Mind you guys, I said Nearly, to prevent being accussed of stereotypin. Guys, a great percentage of them, tend to bottle up their feelings. Heardin them sayin how much they are appreciative of you is so difficult. But however, there're exceptions of course. One, either your guy is forced (by you) to say it (to you) often. Two, either your guy is emotionally high-maintanance. Three, either he did somethin grave. Examples, havin an affair, a threesome, etc. Four, the period before an hurricane is always the most peaceful. Breakup! Ok, scarin you girls only la. Seriously, i feel too much sweet-nothings would make a girl paranoid. Well, at least it goes for me. Girls are funny creatures. No. I'm a funny creature. On one hand, I crave to hear how much i'm loved, however, on the other hand, I find it hard to trust a guy if he keep tellin me things tat's goes: "Oh, i cant live without you. What would i be without you. I love you so much. " Sounds famaliar huh? I do think, a rather simple yet sweet "I Love You", would do the trick. There's no need to go into details. Cause it would makes me feel tat, it's seems like you have practised it so many times, tat you can even say it so easily. Well, even it's so, I dun have anythin to add on too. I would only go "Ok, i heard you. So thank you". I know, i know, it's so, funny. But seriously, i think it's kina difficult to say such not-so-common things. Tat's y i'm classified as a "Not-good-with-Words" person. I guess, if Alex were to tell me this straight in my face one day, my 1st reaction would be: "Yeah right, tat's a lie." It's not like he will say tat anyway. Besides, some things are better left unsaid, but expressed. Actions often speaks louder than words. Most of the time. So much for talkin abt relationship. Pretendin to be a Relationship guru. Haa. Endin soon. Once more quote: "Never forget to tell others that you love them, when you have the chance, coz we duno what would happens the next day." So people, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You!!! *i've practiced. heh.*
"A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty. He said No. She then asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said No. Again, She asked him if she were to leave would he cry. Once again he replied with a No. She turned and walked away, with tears streaming down her face, as she had heard enough. The boy grabbed her arm and said: "No, You're not pretty, you're beautiful. No, I dont want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever. And No, I wouldnt cry if you walked away, I'd die..."
Juz got back from clubbin with Carol, and Argatha. Seriously, it's kina long since i've last went. And i kina missed it. Lots. Had a freakinly whole lot of fun today. We started with only 3 people, but slowly, tons of friends, or friend's friends started to join in. In the end, the table had around 20 people. Tat's madness. Fun comes from madness too. So watever.
Meetin up with the girls tml (it's still the same day, till the sun comes out). For Fish&Co. Miss them lots too. It's been ages since we last meet up. The six of us. Tml is gonna be crazy. Crazyly-excitin. What else would you get when you add girls, food, & cameras together? Lots of gossips, news, and fill-ups.. Of Course.
For the first time, being late for SIP the next day doesnt matter anymore. Yes!, i need not clock-in for the whole of the week. For juz a week. I dun care, i'm still a happy girl. Therefore, to reward myself, I decided to call all my Partners-In-Crime for a night of chillin out. But i realised, they had been sentenced to Job Imprisonment. So, the poor me, ended up spendin the whole night doing this...
Time for GUESS WHO! Anyone?
I attend school totally cashless, ciggiesless, and absolutely clueless. Ok, the fact is, i've been cashless for the last weekends, but i need not worry. Reason? Darling will be there to pay for all my expenses. Be it the meals or my shoppin trips. It's real bimbotic. For example, when I have the cravin for some ice-creams, all i needa to do is put-out-my-hand-with-an-innocent-face-made-possible-with-a-pout, and i can have wat i wana! [Doesnt work everytime though.] No more searchin my bag, scramblin for my wallet. But soon this mornin, after we went different way, i realised being too dependent on him isnt a great idea after all. Now i have a debt of $2. Heh, i've juz eaten my economical lunch.
For the 1st time, i feel so broke. So so broke. I've been landin myself into small little debts like the above. Well, it may not be alot, but seriously, I dun really like the idea of owin debts. Guess noone likes it anyway. It would leaves such a bad reputation. Maybe the next time when others see me on the street, they woould go around sayin: "Oh, she's that girl blah blah blah.". In that case, I could die right, there and then. Seriously, sometimes, i do think i have this silly tendency to forget things. I would even forgetten tat i did owe you some bucks in the 1st place. All i could remember is only YOU-YOU-YOU, owin me my precious heard-earn money. And thinkin of ways to chasin after them, like a loanshark, for juz a mere 60cents. Haa. Well, if anytime you see some digustin pighead on your door, it wasnt me. Nonono, NOT ME~[High screehin tone with Battin of eyelids]. Ok, where was I? So ppl, please, remind me! If it's embaressin to ask, it's ok. Write it down somewhere, and paste on my big forehead, so i could see it clearly right in front of me. Or you could choose to mail it to me. Either ways are acceptable.
My darlin boy is down with fever. Poor thing. He called earlier to "report" tat he's already at home. Accordin to him, the chicken biscuits would probably be the cause of it. But, i kina feel that, it's would rather be the physical drainage. He's workin too much, too hard. 5-day-a-week in SPH telemarketer, the weekends as a SPH promoter. There's no break for him to rest his tired body! The moment he called earlier, i have this sudden urge to rush over, and plant a kiss on him to soothe the feverish uncomfort. Due to my cirmumistances, i din.. Guess he's busy sleepin now, certainly i do hope he would get well soon. Perhaps well enough to pick me up from my place later? Pathetic boy, it's bad enough to be sick, but even worse to have to pamper me when he's sick. Hmmm...I supposed meetin him today isnt possible.. But Baby, i miss you.[Keepin my fingers crossed though.]
one hot-headed bitch. one fuckin damn woman. and I hate SIP!
Think i'm disappointin my faithful readers out there, the inconsistent me hadn't been bloggin for quite sometime. Wellz, i juz Hadnt got the time to blog. Geez, this is a lousy mother-fuckin excuse. The simple fact is, i'm juz soooo damn lazy these days. Ok, trust me pls. I'll improve. And this entry would be a good start. 2days interval aint tat bad?
SIP is no longer fun anymore. I'm hatin it. Oh, i never liked it in the first place anyway. So this doesnt make any differences. Fine, watever. Wellz, i nearly got a warnin letter today. How Lucky i am, not everyone would get one. Oh please, i'm juz decevin myself. The fuckin bitch wanted me to sign the stupid letter. Hello? DO i look dumb to you? Only idiots jump into a graveyard willingly, and allowin themselves to be buried alive.. Who in the right mind would be such an retarded ass. Never mind, i'm gettin out of point. The end, i din sign it of coz, and i was refer to the Engineerin Displicinary Board. Waitin for some Patheh-named-guy to get back to me regardin this matter. It is gettin more and more shitty.
Oh, abt the warnin letter. In case you guys duno. One warnin letter would deduct 5marks from your project. And the good news is, our group got one already, this is not from me definately. And the greater news is, another one is one the way. Ok, this is me. The case is still pendin. Wellz, i hope i would tide it through. Oh, in case you guys wana know wat makes me deserves this damn letter. The reason is: I'm wearin a Hipster Jeans.
