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In a new year, if you will be...
Attendin more than one Birthdays invitations,
Goin to more than one themed birthday party,
Invited to more than one Hardcore Bashes,
Goin to have for some wild party on beach,
Plannin to have at least once Partyin all night,
Eatin more than one catered buffet,
Goin to East coast/Pasir ris more den once,
Havin at least one count of gettin drunk,
Buyint more than one $100&above presents,
Givin out more than one present of diamond ring,
Eatin more than one Key-Shaped Cakes.
You know wat it means?
It would be your turn soon.
Welcome to Adulthood.
2.4km = about 14mins
Shuttle = 11.06 secs
Sit-ups = 31
Standin Broad = 183cm
Sit and Reach = 41cm
Chin-up = 1
Equals Failed.
Damn.
[Cries in Shame]
Shit. Guess wat pple. I'm havin my Napfa. Not tat i've been so enthu to sign up for it. It's a must for graduatin students in FAST at TP. Damn. Now, i'm havin second thought of withdrawin from it, by not turnin up at 730am tml. Damn again. It's been ages since i'd gone for a run. It's been ages since i've did any sit-ups. It's been ages since i've jumped the standin broadjump. And of course, hell long since i've done any sit-and-reach. Psst, i was on the list of top students, reachin of a whoppin 60cm, for girls. Fexible ya. Inclined flexarm, and the 2.4km rm was my personal all-time killer. Nope, every exercise that requires me to sweat like a pantin dog IS a killer. I hated TP for this.
Why is the damn Napfa complusory may i ask. Why is it so important that we've to participate in it. Why must be particpate in it? Why Why why? So tat the school can give excuses that students are usin the facilities, hence charge more?! Damn. First thing first, I'm not intendin to sign on. So no need for Napfa. I'm not keen on excersin to proof that i can acheive a Gold. So no need for Napfa. I'm even less interested in usin the school's facilities. So no need for Napfa. And now. Why do i still needa to take Napfa?
Thinkin back, i used to think, signin on with the army gives me great prospects. The usual reasons like, wah, goverment job lehz, hard steel ricebowl, no needa scare retrentment, and of coz, like wat they say, a clinch above the rest. It's the money part that interest me the most. Whereby, the school fees are being paid for, monthly allowance are given, and extra bouns if you had pass all ur modules. But the part of goin through 3months of BMT wakes me up totally. To reality. Money cant make the world go world, no, it can. But i dun wana be doin wat my bro is doin. [He's a regular, of a 10yrs bond.] I used to be amazed by women in green uniform. I'm still in awe of them now. It's a occupation to be saluted. And of course, it gives others a complete impression of you. Imagine, when ppl ask: "Hey, wat are you doin now?" And the reply is:"Ohh, i'm with the Army now, blah blah blah." Oooooh, impressive huh. But, after second thought, i knew wat i wana. Army was not for me. I wana to look Pretty. Smart. And Professional. Not Greeny. Sweaty. And Full of muscles.
Comin back. Napfa. Argh. Why dun you just kill me. Stupid Tp. Stupid Fast system. Stupid rules. Stupid reqiurement. Stupid is too shallow a word. Damn. But anyway, since everyone else is doin it, and they survived through it. It will be not a hurdle for me. No sweat. Except that i'll pant like a dog. Humpf.
Psst, I just thought of a sure way to pass, the deadly 2.4km run. Put a cat behind me. And i'll run. Like HELL.
Guess wat. I just realised other than your IC, and Library card, the Ez-link (student) can be used to borrow books too! Boy, I never know of such things. Ok, called me a kuku. Never mind. At least i know now. Had just gone to Cheng San Library, as my silly sister needa a storybook for ur Stupid Book Review. And guess wat i've found?!! The book of: Street Names in Singapore. Hahaha. No more Ten Penis! [*winks*]
I was flippin through the book, and i decided on somethin. To scan the book out, and take it home. [Ya, of coz, return it back too, 3weeks later.] But, you'll be impressed by the stories on how certain roads got their names. Ok, not you maybe. People like me, who doesnt have a single clue on the history of Singapore. I shall start checkin Singapore up. And the basic, the Street names. Tat explains why the thick-orange-book is at my place now.
Some examples, Ngee Ann City was named after a Chinese burial ground owned by the Teochew Clan associated. the Ngee Ann Kongsi. Or the famous one, Gelyang, named after kilang, Malay for factory, from the coconuts and lemongrass proccessin factories in the area. Hougang, where i'm stayin, used to be the old Chinese name of Serangoon. And Tampines was indeed named after a tree, an iron-wood tree, tat had been long extinct! Fact Proven.
Amazed. Indeed, I am.
Wat the hell? I am here again, when i'm supposed to be out somewhere, shoppin like crazy, havin fun like no-one's business, enjoyin the 1 week holidays, or maybe just muggin over the projects tat is due to be submitted after the holidays.. And why am i here? Why am i here? Why am i here? Hmmm, I duno. I cant comprehend. I cant explain why. The fact is: I'm still here. Fuck.
Simple. Reason, no-one's datin me out. Which i dun understand until i scroll my phonebook to look for the possible people available for a date with me. Ya, I playin my own datin game. With my friends of course. I discovered one cruel fact. Most of my them are given the sentence of Job-imprisonment. Or have the responsibility of fightin "the-land-we-are-born-in". Or havin rat chasin games in the Unis. Which makes me the only slacker in my friends. No jobs, no school, no income, no responsibilities, no plans for the day. Damn. Come think of it. I should be in school for some MP Juding Day Briefing, which i've no idea wat the hell is it. Never mind. I shall hide myself in the house, and give others the impression that i'm not free, coz i've too many appointments to attend. The truth is: I'm really busy. But the hidden understatement is: I'm really busy. with Sleepin.
Ahhh... Sleeping. A great way to lose weight. Facts: here, and here. No wonder they called it beauty sleep. Helps to minize the eyebags, helps in a more radiant expression, helps to clear off the deep cells, and now, helps to lose weight. The pros of sleep actually overwhelmed the cons, as I cant think of any possible reasons to forgo the precious sleepin time. So people, go on. Sleep more. Pss, I'm not askin you people to go sleep around! The sleepin as in the Sleepin. Where your body goes througha natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. [Definition by dictionary.com]. And one more thing, i'm not adversitin their products, i'm just emphasisin on the fact that someone with sufficient sleep is more resistant to weight gain.
Never mind that. In case you are all ready to cast me into the category of bummers, slackers, and worthless jerks. Fyi, I'm productive while i'm awake too. So, labelled me not as a useless bimbo who spends her time tryin too hard to look like those supermodels. The most accomplised thing like done this weekend is: I've finished readin this book called: "Mosaic", about a mothers' struggle to recapture her live after her couilion husband took her kids away from her. Chey, nothin wat. Never mind. The fact that i actually walk in MPH, lingers 1hr to select a suitable book, and spent only 2days in readin the 412pages in fonts so small that i now have a 100%risk of being cock-eyed, impressed me. Yes, i impressed myself with this.
Book review, Alot on politcies on the 911 incident and how American Arabs are comdemmed, with impression that they are linked to the incident that shocked the world world. A personal struggle with a Gay son, and a husband who refused to accept the fact that his son is "not-straight". A juggle of givin up a successful career, to spend more time with her 2juveiles. Wat can i say more? A true tribute to women. All women in the world. Vulerable yet Strong. Resolute yet Sensitive. After readin the shits she went through, and how the husband felt remorseful in te end, makes me wanted salute to such lady.
Now, I wana immerse myself into the smell of more books, i'm going to Compass Point. The library! I figured, since I'm so impressed with myself, and top it up with the fact that i'm wearin my "make-me-look-like-a-teacher" specs now, thanks to the infected red eye. I shall do somethin that holds my image. I shall read more books to complimentary it. So Taaad!
[Psst, mike, i cant go on lookin like J.Lo everyday! Haha.]
I love you, people. I do. I do.
To us. To Forever. To Friendship.
[*Cling.]
If some of you realised tat you're not in the pic.
You know wat it means by now,
I'm not goin to be specific.
Zi dong hor!
Take photos with me la!
Hahaha. I almost died laughin earlier.
The thought of being togehter once, just gives me creeps. Dun ask me why. I'll just get a spine-chillin feelin tat feels me shiverin in digust. Tat's it. Disgust. How i jolly wish someone will just come along, and brainwashed me, leavin me with just selected, choosen memories. Which in this case, the whole period of time will not be included. That's for sure. Aint memories supposed to be joyful, makes you smile at the thought of it? Therefore, these eerie stuffs should be sucked out of my brain, stay forever in the vacumm, pollutin it with thoughts that's completely worthless. Damn. I cant believe i'm so heartless.
Wellz, it's over and done. And i greatly appreciate it. I'm lookin forward, I'm lookin straight ahead, and i can assured, I dun even miss the past, between us. Not the single bit. All i can say now is, No beans shall be spilled to anyone, anymore. Case Closed. Forever closed. And never ever shall it be reviewed. The last thing i wana have now is, to have anymore contacts. Best thing is, i even had plans to delete the number from my handphone , tat's after i've gotten back all my stuffs. Which is still left untouched, i supposed, at the place.
Since everythin is over, i shall reveal the truth. The things i've did, behind your back, in the so-called distant period. One, I asked my friends, all, to date me as much as possible on the weekends, to avoid spendin time togehter. Two, I purposely cast ur sms aside after readin it, coz i simply dun wana reply. Three, I refused to call you back, regardless on your free-incomin, coz i enjoyed lookin out of the serene scenary alone, compared to talkin to you on the phone. Ok, you can offically call me a BITCH now. Fyi, I dun go fillin myself up with emos, ok, i know this isnt wrong. It cant be helped. BUT it's completely wrong if you've lettin yourself immersin into it. Wellz, do somethin constructive and get out of it, for goodness sake. Being emo = actin pitiful = wants sympathy from others. You will get mine. Tat's for sure. But sympathy, is jsut somethin you would give to someone helpless, a complete waste of resource. Two, I am truthful, and i'm proud of it. Very Proud of it.
Shall nt be so specific. Think i've revealed more than enough. I shall stop to protect the identify of the used-to-be-significant-half. At least I DID spared a thought for the person involved. At least i DUN drive myself paranoid with things tat are totally untrue, and unfair. At least I have the decency to ASK, provided, if i still bothered abt the particular person involved. [by now, things should be very very obvious. unless you're a peabrain, you should know i'm talkin abt the particular you.] Which makes me feel so god-damn benelevont. Haha, and i just said everythin out. Oh, ammendaments, i've keep it within myself for like 2months, since the start of the problem, to the end of the relationship, to now. And since you're not even sparin a thought for me, typin entires which makes me sounds like a complete slut, i dun think i should keep you in considersation.
p.s: shoot me back, if this aint true. dun worry, i wont deleted the comments, either will i erase this entry. WON'T.
I wonder wat's the sure way of losin weight? I still have another 5kgs to go. Or maybe more. Did i say, there's somethin wrong with my weighin machine. I can be weighin 50kg now, but after i've eaten JUST a slice of bread, i weigh 52kg. Ok, who will be so bo liao to go and weigh themselves after they have eaten just a slice of bread. Ok, i did. Which i duno why either. And, i just revealed an woman's greatest secret. My weight.
Never mind. Women, all in this case, no mather their width, slender, fat, skinny, can look into a mirror, and see themselves as fat old obasan with, the buttons of her blouse on the verge of bursting. Thing is, I'm no slender lady. Tat's the reason why i needa lose some kilos. Back to the point. How can i lose a freakin 5kg before the Chinese New Year? Exercise? Yeah rite. Who the hell tells me chucks of illogical theory that exercise helps to lose weight, blah blah blah. And ask me to jog 3 times a week, half hour each time, i'll ask that person oh-so-smart person to kiss my ass.
Firstly, Joggin trains muscle. And muscles weights much more than fats. Which, at the end of the day, has the reverse effects. And my goal is to lose weight, not gain mass. Not for me. Secondly, Joggin makes you pant like a thirsty dog, sweat like tapwater, and stinks like garbage. Torture yourself, but wat did will you get in the end? Big Fat Unsightly Budglin Calfs, Stinky Body, and Uncontrolled Sweaty Glands. Yucks.
Or? I can choose to invest in Xando or Extrim. Which requires no exercise, and i can have a slender figure, in just 4weeks. Accordin to the adverstiments tat's. But it's wat we called. Stupid. Let's keep this hush-hush, i've this girlfriend, who had tried this so-famous carbo-block product, who is endorsed by this so-famous actress. Yes, in the 1st month, she lost abt 3kgs. However, when she stop, the 3kgs came back all togehter again. I guess the product's company must have did a very goood job in their CRM, esp in the aspects of maintainin customers' [WEIGHT] in this case.
Or, i can choose to barge into the slimming centre, holding the newspaper cuttings of watever so promotions they are have, and let them urge me to sign up for this package, tat package, so at the end of the day, i can have my desired figure, with no suregy, no pills, no injections. Sounds familiar ar. Never mind, this is no option for me either.
The only way is: Sit one corner, cry and pray. Hopefully, the intense cryin will increase the rate of metabolism. Humpf!
I'm a Happily-Poor Student!
I felt lost, I felt outcast, I felt not at ease.
I stumbled, I lost the direction, I forgot the rules of my game.
I self-entertained, I walked around the resort, I fag whole day.
Wat actually happened, wat actually went wrong, wat actually didnt take place.
I can be very sure, it's impossible, i din fall in love, with you all over again.
I cant comprehend, I cant pinpoint, I cant think of a reason to explain.
I should have gone home, i shouldnt waited, i shouldnt be even there the very 1st place.
Just i went, rather early, but left rather late.
It's a birthday, a 21st birthday, where it should be a happy pharse.
But how come I feel funny, all the while, in a weird way.
I wondered. I agreed. I doubted myself.
Tat underneath my every smile, every laughter i've portrayed.
Am i really happy, leading this way.
I'm clueless, I'm stuck, in my hopeless thoughts.
I wandered, far away, and had lost the directions in my life.
I led day by day, night by night, just waiting to survive.
I needa retreat, i needa shelter, I needa to hide.
Into my solitary corner, where i no-one shall find.
Let the skeptical me be the boundary for others to see.
For away from this sitution, is where i really want to be...
As much as, I wanted to be somewhere where i'm all by myself,
But I wanted desperately a shoulder to cry, someone to hug silently,
Contridicting. Contridicting. Contridicting.
I duno why. I just feel really lousy.I duno where. But, i'll get myself back.Somehow. Somehow. Somehow.
Inside.myside.is.a.place.i.live.all.aloneBut.next.to.that.place.there's.a.gap.waitin.for.someone.to.come.alongAs.much.as.i.wanted.to.be.strongI.guess.i.m.just.as.vulnerable.on.my.own
I'm Insanely Worn Out.
To the-Mr-MIA: Thank you. VERY MUCH.
Ever wondered how the different parts of Singapore gets their name? For example, Hougang, Sengkang, Simei, Serangoon? So many parts, they can think of so many names mehz? I know some roadnames are named after famous ppl. Some are obvious of coz, like East Coast. Orchard gets it's name cause it used to be an plantation before it's developed. But how about others? Like the famous Geylang? Or maybe Tew Yee, Khabti? Great great mystery huh. Maybe it's not a mystery. Juz tat I din bothered abt knowin the history of Singapore. Was it explained? Never mind, anyway, I still remembered my dad used to tell a story about the name of Tampines, to my Malaysian relatives.
Here goes: Once upon a time, a minister was thinkin of a name, WAIT! This is how Fairytales start. But this is not a fairytale, we use the Singaporean way. Lim Bei Ka Li Gong, Ta Bai [ok, i sucked in Hokkien] there was one minister, he was appointed to come up with a name for the little area in the east. So, with this great responsibility, he wanted it to have a special name. After few days of thinkin, he still does not have an idea of the name that they can call it home. Lookin for inspirations, he wandered along the streets, and came to a park. Feelin tired, he sat down to rest. He then saw a lady walkin along the park, suddenly, there are ten men appeared, and stands in her way. These ten men then flashed right at the lady. Of coz, the lady screamed. Shoutin: "Ten Penis, Ten Penis". Bingo! And the minister got a name for the little east side area.....
Now, What about the rest of Singapore?
My keys, my keys, Where thou are you, my Keys? Wat's the probability of losing your bunch of keys in YOUR OWN house? And pathetically, got stuck at home alone. The sad thing is, the only moment you can hear the familiar clinging sound of the keys is dinner time, when the whole family is back. Wat's the probability of getting trapped inside your own house not more then once? Each time feelin so fed-up that you can tear the house down, while waitin for the family members to come back so you can be let loose outside? Wat's the probability of not only stuck in your OWN house before, but in other people's house too? It was at Kel's house. But the funny thing is, the keys with not missing but, the lock was magically crooked, which we duno y aso, We had to knock the lock back into position, before the lock finally released itself. Resulting Your Highness being late for the then Public Speaking Class. Wellz, The probability of these damn things would be much lower, much much much lower, than striking the damn nearly-impossible-to-strike 4D. 1 out of 9999, I'm still able to 'tio' this suay thing so many times. Now I wonder, why my numbers for 4Ds always din even come out at all, since i'm ever so goddamn lucky in a way. Not even the top 3 prizes, Consolation ma bo! Frankly speakin, is it something's wrong with me, or with the house [regardless which one, refer to the top]. I might be unexpectionally pea-brain careless, but wat explains the incident in Kel's place too? I'm not the one who had the grave responsibility of keeping the keys wat! So careless is not excatly the word right, den waT?! In this case, if they are linked, The only reason I can think of is: I've this warm and lovin aura around me that touches the houses so much, resulting them wana keep me in, thus lockin me within their clutches, so they can experience my love. Ahhhh..... That explains! No wonder... *rolls my eyes in beam* Never mind that, the weirdest thing is, I just went out an hour ago to have a fag. Then, the next minute, or shall I say, Hour, the damn key disappeared. Into the thin humid air! Which I wonder why aso. Playin hide-and-seek huh. I had to go and change back to my home-clothes [i'm already prepared to get my butt out of the house], wash my face, and start searchin for the littly-littly-throwin-a-unreasonable-temper key. Waste my time, waste my effort, waste my makeup, and waste my water [wash face wat!].
I give up..
When you have nothing to do,
No place to go,
Nothing to eat,
The best thing is to go to sleep!
So...... Taad!
The Most Anticiapted Topic for most blogs currently would be the "Ren Ci Charity Show".
Since most people, I strongly presumed, will gona talk about how poignant the show was, how Kym Ng endure the pressure of gravity, how Bryan Wong and Xie Shaoguang managed to do amazing stunts on the impressive WRX, how Rev MingYi stood at the peak of the metal bars for over one hour, and not forgettin, how Darren Lim and Edmund Chen touched us, by showin off their bisceps, doin 2000sit ups. [With the help of others too.] Anyway, since much highlights would be given to the Renci Charity Show, the humble me aint gonna blog about it.
When i've just blogged abt it. Haa!
Since i've so much "love-myself" time, i came up with this...
[for larger view, click the pics]
I called it: Bits of me. [the cutout of Ashlee Simpson's Song]
I just read all the previous posts that i've written in the past. The archives. From the very 1st post. I can still rem how i bugged yl to teach me abt postin pics on the blog, how i bug vivian abt the html codes, and how i complain abt how troublesome tyin all the codes when you wana change the colours so on. Ahhh, memories. The very first post of this blog starts on the 8th March 2004. And the very last post was obviously, 3rd Jan 2004. After 10months down the road. it's indeed amazing, the style of my writtin hasnt changed a bit. The only different is the length of the post. In the past, all the entries are magically short and bittersweet. But now, the entries seems to be longer. Perhaps, it's goin through the puberty stages where young childrens turn into adosecents and shoots up in the height suddenly. Never mind that, the only logical reason that i can think of is; the goin-to-be-21-year-old me had grown up, phyically [more curves!] and emtionally, thus more complains and displeasures with the ugly side of human nature.
Other than the length of the entries, the contents are so much different. In the past, the whole entry sums up to a word. BORED. Why? It's all abt relationship stuffs. And it's not wat ningz, or weiru's read-already-envy-only type of bliss, abt how loving the two couples are, and proven with endless of pictures abt their diabates sweetness. But it's the non-stop-on-goin of irriating complains i had abt the relationship. How bored i am in the relationship, how i dun wana to be tied down, and the list goes on. Makes me think how a fucked-up girlfriend i am in the past. All i have are complains abt The Boyfriend. And not a word of compliments at all. [Maybe i should add the Archives link in the blog template, and the ugly side of me, underneath this "pretty face" shall be reveal.] But then again, i assumed "Whoever reads the entries then, would want to give me a hard slap", because of how self-centered i was, i shall keep it discreet. But then again. Never mind. In the past. It saids.
Wellz, speakin of relationship, few days back, i was chattin with yl, in MSN, over my "de-attachment" recently. Not that recent actually, but the poor guy was just not updated enough. Anyway, he was certain that not after long, i will hook myself up with another guy. I disagreed. Strongly.
I asked myself. Do i really need tat someone? Do i really need that strong shoulder to lean on in the long boring bus rides home? Do i really need that tanned arms to rest my hand on? Do i really need the fingers to fill up the gaps between my fingers? Do i really need that particular number to dial to? Do i really need that special one to spend every weekends with? Do i really need someone to pay for the romantic-for-two dinner? Do i really need couple-seats movie tixs? Do i really need the little sweet surprises? Do i really need the heart-warmin embrace? Do i really need that sweet goodnight kiss? Do i really need the aching hand to sleep on in the night? Do i really need the familiar face to wake up to every mornin? Do i really need another family to have dinner with? Do i really needa have supper which a whole group of his clique? Do i needa listen to those honey-coated sweet nothings? Do i really needa to be tied by, cut short of the fun because of the particular special one? Do i need to edit my profile to "in a relationship" in friendster?! Yeah, of coz, I do.
But not now. I'm currently havin no obligation fun, plenty of freedom, lotsa time to myself, lotsa time for my friends, authority to plan my own schedule, to play the dating game, and nothin now would makes me give everythin up. Havin no1 to report to, havin no1 to bear in mind, havin no1 to consider abt the jealousy, havin no1 to give me reports, havin no1 askin my whereabouts [excludin dad], makes me a happy girl. The last thing i ever wanted is to lead myself to the commitment stage. Specifically, the last thing i wana is a relationship. Right now.
Eye candies first, desserts in a monent's time..
The Mr Signaller havin his nights out...
And i'm gonna be late again! Taad!
2004 had past us by, With much misery, and pain,leaving us with last memories, That noone could erased.
When things are gettin out of hand, With countless polities and shame,Suddenly it came to a halt, When Mother Nature couldnt bear it anymore.
Sweeping ferciously across the ASEAn,The Tsunami had Striked us all,Claimin over 100thousands precious lives,It made us all seems so modest in Her eyes.
Rankin 4th worst diaster of the century,The damage is more then anyone could imagine,Even the survivors had escape the fatal ordeal,They cant escape the lost of their houses.
With no roof over their heads,And no totally dry place to stay, They are left shiverin,as the night came to take its place.
I started to realised,tat all these time,I'm indeed real fortunate,And i shouldnt be takin things for granted.
As the rain here in Singapore is fallin,The hearts are in all parts of the world are cryin,So, Let's cast aside our nationality and start prayin,For those people who are still missin.
2005 might not have a good start,But, hopefully, as the year gradually passes by,things would be pickin up, and all gladings would follow... Happy New Year!
