Thursday, June 28, 2007

if am havin an affair. am i considered a slut?

of course am not having an affair.

come think again. assuming that i am, i wouldnt be that stupid to broadcast it anyway. but seriously. am not am not.

ironically, this thought came abt through the fm radio yesterday. i think it's class 95. aint sure though. while crusing in babe's little vois, there's this one letter from one of their faithful listener. The story goes like this:- (please note, original story may differ. i'm really typing as much as i could remember.)

this lady, mdm A recently discovered her husband of 10 years is having an extra-marital affair. It's his 10th affair in their marriage. Out of despair and agony, she turned to his best friend, Mr B, whom listened attentively to her woes. eventually, consolation turns into love, this "friendship" grew into a "relationship". Both started developin affections for each other. to make things worse, Mr B too, is havin a fair share of marriage problems. after some while, Mr B decided it's time to end this "relationship", dropped Mdm A a letter, saying their "relationship" is wrong, as she still is, his best friend's wife. of course, both party were devastated........ " *suddenly, the radio was cut off..

ahem, damn spoiler. reason being, babe had already parked his car, turned off the engine, and had headed to the carboot. meanwhile, sayin the girl "fan jian". "fan jian" - the description of doin a disgraceful & sluttish action. *sidetrack - earlier that night, i had accidentally slammed the passenger door into a nearby pillar. he was anxious to get off the car to check my degree of damage to his precious. heh.

of course, as a lady myself, i was furious, but yet, curious. being prompted, he explained. the reason of using "fan jian" on the girl was because, 1) it's her husband's best friend that she had developed feelings for - which in her case, is totally erroneous. 2) even the husband is having an extra-marital affair doesnt give his wife has the right to do so. never mind the fact that her husband is having his 10th affair in their 10 years of marriage.

it leaves me to this great burnin question. "why on earth when guys cheat, it's considered a marriage norm. (of course, they blame it on many other factors too - read: "why men cheat in this month's cleo). but, when their wife do the same thing, it's considered a grave offence?". isnt it the pot callin the kettle back?

seriously. i really dun understand. 1) are we still livin in the 18th century - had the japanese re-invaded us again? 2) what had happened to all the moral civics that we had learnt in our schoolin days? 3) equal of the sexes - are we still fighting for it, or have we gotten it?. 4) guys are still the better of both sexes, yes? 5) divorce rates are risin - does it directly weighs down as our patience and opinions towards such issues are gettin much lower?

pertaining to the story, more substantial questions to swallow:- 1) does it means mdm A cant bed mr B, cause she's his "best friend's" wife? 2) in a scenario where mdm A, and mr B are only acquaintances, it will then be considered a norm not a deviant act? 3) is mr B opting out because he doesnt not want to deem as a "wife-snatcher" among his group of friends? if so, it's just a reflection of his “cowardness”. 4) mdm A had tolerated the previous 9 affairs, how come does she need to wait for the number 10 before turnin to his best friend then – so it’s a sweet revenge served cold – and familiar? 5) for the guy - they have a cap of 10 affairs, and for women, why does it have to stop at one over the span of 10 years?

maybe some would consider babe as an male chauvinist. come say. he's just sayin it from a guy's point of view. which i think it's rather true and sincere though.

to me, i felt being called a slut, or even using synopsis like this is too harsh of a term. now, it's not that she's not into some dubious act, in layman's term, she's merely "followin her heart". i say, I will remain as a netural stand. guess if you have to, you have too. sometimes matters of the heart can't be specific.

sometime back, i was tellin my best friend, carol this - in a scenario that i'm married - with kids, my husband have a high-flying job, is the sole breadwinner, no beer-belly, still have his masculine looks, AND is having an affair. I will shut an eye on this.

i’d read abt this distressin issue off magazines, forums, and even blogs. which in a way, I agreed. that ultimately, each night, my husband still comes back to the same intimacy with the very same woman, whom he had exchanged his weddin vow with. at the age of say 35 and above (after bearin the kids), one really have to admit that “there’s a lot of younger meats out there, and men occasionally would just wana spread their seeds for fertilization.”

of course, am not implyin being my husband in the future, had this immerse privilege to have an affair. but sometimes, things are really unpredictable.

well, of course, when things are getting too much out of hand, then it’s a different story. i still know when to walk out, when worse is comin to worse.

carol immediately called me a physo. 100% certain that she'll completely against that idea - stating "once her husband have an extra-martial affair, she'll be out of the marriage".
but sometimes, somehow, we just never know what's the next call for action. women are neither stupid nor weak - selected times, we "behaved" so, yes. but literally, no. if it really happens one fine day, out of desperation, i aint sure what is the last decision. however, am certain, walkin out with no string attached and without any emotional burden is never my forte. nor anyone else i believe.

i do not grow up in broken family. my dad doesnt have any extra-martial affairs - well, not that i know of. so, am considered fortunate in a way.

say. when it comes to things like tat, usually, it's the kids who suffered. forcin them to relinquish their priceless innocence much faster.

sad. this is the world. guess this is how we grow.

irony. am attending a wedding dinner tonight.

sings* love. is. in. the. air.

beautiful memories on. 2:34:00 pm x ........................................