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weekends.
like all blue-collar personnels "whom-had-surrendered-into-the-humdrum-of-weekdays'-rush", our weekends draws a notable scent. i guess, after working like almost 14hours a day for the past five days, the 48hours weekends is the least i can be rewarded.
this weekend isnt much memorable. it's so-mundanely-easily-forgotten, yet in-a-way-still-appreciated. eh. sounds tough. few words to summarize this entire weekend:-
empowered with determination, drive to stride, step out of the box and nearer to my bistro dream, late night with the telly, joint account, missed class, down with the weather, sore eyes, and feeling fatigue for the entire day, hit the controller of ps2, had to agree holland v aint fun without the hoegaarden mood, suki sushi, did my hair - have curls now, was reminded that dad is having an operation the next day, sent the bf off to the airport, came home, and realized you'd missed him already - while catchin the drama serial off the telly.
i cant say the weekends are well-spent. 48 hours is somewhere like a median. neither a extensive nor momentary. but isnt some "love-myself" time, "the boyfriend" time, "ps2 gaming" time, "bitching with the girls" time, in a weekend sufficient to last you for the next 5 days?
it's the time of the year. yet again.
it's the time again for submission of application to leading universities. maybe not leading for my case. but then still again. the dilemma.
it's been almost 2years since graduation. time indeed, waits for no one.
many of my peers like liu(he), agatha, or xiaoqian is on the verge of graduation, or had already worn the "square-cap" robe, smile happily on their commemoration day. but of course, they had embarked on the journey of education immediately after the polys, while the rest of us ventured into the society of working class citizen, or too, shouldered the responsibilities of servin the nation.
it's always prick in the finger, when time like this comes.
much pple around me encouraged and emphasized the importances of gettin that degree. quotes like:-
"no degree next time you'll work like hell." - from dad
"no paper cert, how long you need to work as junior management?" - from hei
"you're only 23 - still young, faster go study." - from bf's mum
"to rise to management level, there must be papers to back u up." - from my own boss (indirectly)
i swear, havin such hearsay thousands and one times, would gives you the inferiority complex at times.
unlike most, money is no major issue to me. neither, am born with a silver spoon, nor have tons of savings. merely based on a sentence; "education is the least all parents can give their kids", dad has no qualms abt me askin for $60K when i proposed to pursue a 3years course upon poly graduation. rememberin then, he just answered my prospal like this; "give me your calculations, tell me you're determined and confident, and i'll pack you off." but then again. idea was subsequently dropped. havin the rights to the thousands of "university sum" that dad had set aside for each of us, doesnt not mean one should take it.
so do i still wana don that "graduation robe" and smile to the camera, with a "unfitting-cap-flowers-in-hand-and-dad-by-my-side"?
erm.
am still in a dilemma.
i have two choices now.
i) work my way to for more f&b experience and relative networks, use the "university sum" for my capital, fulfill my long-time goal in runnin a small-time cafe. (*havin the upper hand currently, as bro is runnin his own cafe too. everyone in the family sings the same tune.)
or
ii) get a double honors and make everyone around me, esp dad, happy & proud. (maybe includin myself too)
wat's so irony now is:-
after one year so, am still figurin my future path, and still yet to decide between these two choices.
reminds myself. time waits for no-one.
this time, i give myself a dateline. I MUST do something. submission closes on 1 OCT!
ADDICTED.
to online shoppin during office hours.
comeon. tell me what's new?
Flashback. from within. it's been sometime since this url has been active. Figure 1: Slow down, signal right to overtake road hazzard. (Learner A supposed to overtake 1st, but keep delaying time.) Figure 2: Tried to overtake Learner A, but the stupid taxi refused to allow me to merge into the right lane, kept insisted by moving forward. In the end, have to proceed dangerously as I've passed Learner A by half the car.
wellz, i've started cyndices, went hiatus for a while, even meanwhile was complemented to remove the entire link. - main reason behind all these - bloggin was just a trend. and the passion of bloggin had simply burnt off.
friends around me still have misleading pronouncation abt "cyndices". Derived from the word indices - meaning all about index, "cyn-di-ces" would mean, all about cyn.
i recalled the very 1st post i'd published - like all, now, lookin at it. it like just a loads of nonsensical writes. However, from the 1st post to the 191th post, cyndices.blogspot had become a bank for all memories.
i still remembered the exact scence how kel and I had broken up in June 2004. I still rem to exact fun and exhilaration I had in the girlies chalet in May 2004. I still rem the exact tantrum I threw when dad refused to bring me along to taiwan in May 2004. I still rem the exact hatred i had for mum in Aug 2004. I still rem the exact fear for Carina (the lecturer) during my SIP days. I still rem the days of my SIPs with my projectmates (the daily breakfast at Design School, the routine DVDs marathons, etc), I still rem the cute pot-bellied pigs at the Zoological Gardens,I still rem the broke-yet-carefree-clubbin-endlessly days with the girls, till I read all my archives from March 2004.
In fact, yes, memories will be kept diligently. But the current feelings of one will be forgotten. Of course, till one wrote everythin down. Am so glad i did.
Sidetrack - drivin last saturday was pretty fun though. After the 20minutes lecture from my instructor (link here), I corrected all my mistakes. But. I still did a major hiccup. I created a 3 lane way, in a 2-way carriageway. (which will be a immediate failure in the test criteria) 
cause. you'll just know tat, at the end of the day, daddy dear will be just at home - awaitin for all his "chicks" to be back home. safety. like all had guessed. totally opposite.being the chengs's daddy's girls.
as the title had stated, it's very much different or growing up being a daddy's girl.
Guess many still vividly remember the Channel 5 sitcom starring Verentta Lopez, Carrie Chong, and Jamie Yeo couple years back. 
http://www.corporate.mediacorp.sg/progsales/progsales_new.asp?id=384&version=english&type=studios.
I used to catch the show fervently, shouting to dad the same time: "See, this is how we'll grow up to be like".
Now, lookin back, couple years later, i just cant help but feel nostalgic.
Except daddy's isnt a taxi driver, the chengs only has two daughters, our mum is still around, there's not a particular hairdresser around us, lastly, we are not as marriageable age yet. (maybe little sister isnt).
but one thing for sure. we would really want to be home with daddy, being his girls.
"Lulu Chong" reminds me of Cecilia Zhuang. - shy, blur, and completely clueless.
"Angel Chong" reminds of myself - of course, outgoing, loud, and with a line of suitors (*winks at felix) 
those girlies and catlix* (no prize for guessin whois it.) will understand how close am I to daddy.
practically. i doubt i can survive without tellin daddy somehow. - i need our daily conversation about the job, gettin a flat, funny conversation from others, payrise, bonus, travel, even relationship problems...
or even, doin silly things with daddy dear like - sharing great hawker treats, directions to an ulu-chiam-ulu places, wat's new on the menu at Ben's place, splurging exclusively when we're in the mood for gourmet pleasures, and sniffin out deals like $8.88++ buffet supper at Quality Hotel...
few days back, i had an event at The Cathay which entitles me to free wine. like all oxygen-deprived person, alcohols often does comes with cigarettes. So of course that day, I went home lookin like an alcoholic and smellin like a chimney. as we were on our usual "before bedtime talk on daily events", mr cheng posed me a question, two in fact (loosely translated):-
mr cheng: "ay, you go drink ar? you go smoke ar?"
me: "aye. ya. i went drink." "ya, i went smoke."
mr cheng: "humpf. why smoke. say you wana quit already?"
me: "ya. slowly. but very difficult la. u dun smoke ma. but if you drink, you sure were to smoke one."
mr cheng: "gogogo, away from my bed. so smelly."
me: giggles......
no doubt like all parents, mr cheng is always anxious about his "chicks". yet no doubt, like all males, he dont pretty much explain his love.
we are no different from a traditional cheena family. we do not have the habit of showin affection openly. we dun greet each other by their first name. we dont kiss each other goodnight, nor hug them goodbye.
but i have no qualms of opening greetin mr cheng when i'm still 10 steps from our main gate. nor any qualms on sharing the same king bed with him while mum's isnt in town, nor any qualms to holdin him by the arm.
he encourages you to be charge of your life, but somehow, you just cant be independent fully. 
then how abt your mum?
