Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Right. Wellz. Hi. and. I think I should write somethin. Here. Somethin regardin wat's happenin in my life recently. Somethin which is extraordinary. But extraordinary things? Cant think of any right now. In fact. My entire mind had been completely blank since i've woken up this afternoon. So pls kindly, forgive me for this "non-thought provokin-random-thoughts" but bimbotic entry of mine.

Maybe instead. Just for the sake of bloggin. I should write the non-practical things i've been up to recently. In the past few days. The Non-practical, non-extraordinary, non-sense things.

Like?:
How I had a wild night out with my girlies in Devils Bar on the Saturday? How I had gotten so drunk, yet managed to board the mornin bus to Gentin while havin a serious hangover? How I've looked so damn drunkenly ugly? How I locked myself in the toilet for a homogonous time? How I had no energy to even walk. Tat my guyfriends needa carry down the flight of stairs in Devils Bar? How I did a slight bartop and poledance then? How nonsensely am I throughout the whole trip home, tat Kelvin needa stop in the middle of the road, cause I kept screamin tat I needa throw up the bitter alcohol? How I managed to frighten everyone to their wits tat night? Or how they had now witnessed somethin new, after all the countless times they clubbed with me?

Or maybe. How Mr Kelvin basically pulled me to Golden Mile, straight after pickin me up in my drunken state? How I made the course ppl worried about me at the Custom, for, they are concerned that, my drunken state made me looked so much like a drug addict. How I managed to pass the checkpoint? And was knocked out the whole trip to the foot of Genting Highlands? How disappointing the ThemePark is, with the main attraction of the SpaceShot Plunge closed? How we punished each other with disgustin "own-made mocktails" while havin our Thai Buffet? How I cant get into the casino, when almost all the group had sneaked in? How we came up with silly forfeits for the main loser. While playin Big Two? How many times we sat on the RollerCoaster, just to perfect our pictures? How we scare ourselves and others in the Haunted House? How we got most of our expenses discounted? How we "Bumper" each other on the Bumper Cars, re-queuing one too many times? And How we still managed to go clubbin while in Genting?

Watever it is. I had fun. So so so much fun. I had thoroughly enjoyed myself in these past few days. It may be jsut a simple, insignificant, nearby Genting Trip with the coursemates, or the completely wickedly wild "you-looked-so-fuckinly-ugly-tat-you-really-deserved-a-great-scoldin" nightout. It's the getaway short moment I had, that I'm seriously talkin about. The short getaway from everythin. Away from this humid air here. Away from the People around me. Away from cruel reality. Away from things which I dun wana think about. Aint I playin escapism then. Well, it aint a bad thing afterall. Playin escapism is somethin I liked. Being MIA from everythin aint a bad thing. It might be just merely simplely "enjoyin-the-wakin-up-to-fresh-air" moment, or "enjoyin-the-polluted-air-with-rymthic-tunes". Either ways, Sometimes. I wished I could. Just. Heck about everythin. I just wana be a kid. Have fun. And never grow up. Speaking about more responsibilities. More freedom. Gettin older. These were the times. The only times. When I could say, Fuck you. And be care-less about everythin else. For that particular moment.

Now. Regardin that Saturday. Seriously, I've forgotten how many cups of Vodka Blackcurrant I had cheers with the people around me. How many cups of Martell mixture I had been offered. How many times I had lost in that Five-Ten game. But only one thing I Remembered. I must have caused so much unnecessary anxiety. Tat I needa make countless of apologies for the trouble, explanations tat I’m not out of love or watever, and thanks for their attention on Saturday. The minute I came back to the boundary of Singapore. The minute. I knew i cant afford to be care-less any longer.

Aint people strange. Remember when you're about 13years old, or 15years old. There were countless of times you sincerely wished you were much older. At least of a legal age, where people would treat you differently. Would start to listen to ur smooth-talkin way of stating the rights, instead of being stereotyped as the stage of rebel in watever you do/say. Aint people strange. Remember there are countless of time when you wished you have more freedom to control you life, and not be manipulated in watever you do. At least the so-called adults trusted that you could jolly well handle your life, and take watever comes in your way in your own strides. Wellz, i used to have that thinking in the past. I wana grow up. So much.

But however, Now. The approachin-Freedom-21st-me-in-just-less-than-20-days is dreadin it. I knew wat they would write on the Birthday cards. Things like, more responsibilities would come in, as now you are an adult; Reality is jsut somethin you needa face, hard and smart; and so on. I knew because i've written it before. It may be just another day. Just a annually event. But it's another chapter of a new beginning. It would bring you to higher heights of life. Then, I would be given more rights. I would get my ERS, get to vote, get to nominate, get to have a legal say, and all. With all these privileges, wat awaits me now? Seriously, i have an absolute clue. A definite answer. Merely talkin about what you intend to do is a complete different thing, tat's wat i feel. Cause in the end, Singaporeans would just be succumbed into the Singapore way of life. Be-educated-Work-for-a-family-Work-to-support-the-family-Work-to-ensure-you-still-can-have-a-family. In short. Work to be buried. Regardless how high-earnin the job is. The bottom line. You have a whole life to be workin for. So, why are some people still anxiously. Needin a part-time job? Workin their Asses off? Hmmm. Irony huh. This is Life. Sad to say.

beautiful memories on. 9:18:00 pm x ........................................